VIP: An Afterthought

You get a lot of questions when you tell someone you play video games. “What’s your favorite game?” “Have you played XYZ games?” “Oh, I remember this one growing up” and the list goes on. A common one I didn’t know how to solidly answer came up from time to time: What is your leave favorite game you’ve played? I can now confidently say one of my least favorite games, and fittingly one of the straight up worst games I’ve played, has to be VIP on the Playstation.

So, what is VIP? For starters, it’s a TV tie-in game based on a crime drama series of the same name from the mid-late 90s. The show seemed to have things in common with actiony and farfetched cop shows like NYPD Blue or something. Despite never having heard of it yet growing up during the exact time it was on prime time television, VIP ran for I believe 3 seasons before eventually being canceled. A lot of shows get half as much as this, and I’m sure there were some good times to be had in a few episodes. It must have been doing something right to warrant a video game adaptation.

Actually, “Adaptation” is a very loose interpretation of what the game even has to do with the show. You play as a variety of who I am assuming are the main characters of the show. I’m going to take a wild guess here and say what you actually do in VIP the game is now what these characters do in the show. At its core, VIP for the Playstation is a collection of very no-thrills mini-games etched into a loose storyline about crime. The gameplay has you legitimately doing quicktime events sort of like a poor man’s DDR in order to stop nameless henchmen. Or perhaps using a very powerful gun to line up cross-hairs to snipe at foes. There’s even some hand-to-hand combat sections, but these are also quicktime events. And that’s largely all you do.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention VIP the video game as well as VIP the TV show stars Pamela Anderson. Yes, that’s right: that Pamela Anderson. You seriously cannot miss it when playing the game: her likeness is plastered all over the box art, the title splash screen, and she’s also one of the playable characters. Even more, if you complete a level and get enough points you unlock clips from the show as well as softcore still images of Pamela. If VIP for Playstation is remembered for anything, it is certainly this. “Oh yeah, that game with Pamela Anderson,” is the biggest praise this game will even receive.

The only praise I can truthfully give the game is that it is over fast. You can see everything the game has to offer gameplay-wise within 10 minutes, and if you really want to see how the story plays out that will be resolved in an hour and some change. Seriously though, that’s the only good part. The gameplay is abysmal and unresponsive, the characters and background are boring and repetitive, the sound design is atrocious, and it is evident from the beginning this is a simple cash grab for fans of the TV show or PS1 gamers looking to see some side boob. Pro tip: if either of those to clarifies apply to you, this game isn’t what you think it is going to be.

VIP is in my top ten worst games I’ve ever played. I’d have to really sit down to sift through all the trash I’ve played to determine if this is the top of the crappy game cake or somewhere in the middle. Regardless, it’s one I can wholeheartedly not recommend. To anyone. Ever.

Laters,
Jsick

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– Jason J

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